"Discipline is the bridge between goals and character achievements." — Yanina Cossime.
It is not just what teenagers do. It is what they are needing… and do not always find: real presence, connection, and someone who is truly there.
By: Lic. Yanina Cossime
What is happening to our teenagers?
This is a question currently echoing throughout society. Although we often seek answers in social media, virtual communities, or external influences, there is something deeper we cannot afford to overlook.
We are all vulnerable. But teenagers are even more so, due to the stage of life they are navigating. In this context, the difference is made not only by the stimuli they receive but by the support networks they have.
Family, above all things.
Today we see young people struggling with difficulties, problematic substance use, and violence. But behind that, there is often something quieter: a lack of support, boundaries, and real presence.
Our children are lacking so much:
- They lack affection.
- They lack a meaningful gaze.
- They lack someone to ask how they are doing.
- They lack a sense of belonging.
A child who feels loved, supported, and accepted—even when boundaries are set—will not want to destroy what sustains them.
But when that is missing, desperation appears.
Human beings need another. In adolescence, that "other" is fundamental. When they are not present, or not enough, a void appears. In that void, the urge to destroy often arises: not just wanting what others have, but wanting others not to have it at all.
Facing this, it is easy to seek explanations elsewhere. To blame the internet, social media, or current trends.
But that is not enough.
We can ban, limit, and control. But we cannot replace the bond.
Young people are desperate for someone to look them in the eye. For someone to be truly present. For someone who listens, embraces, sets boundaries, and provides stability.
And here an uncomfortable truth emerges: we adults are also adrift.
Cultural changes have made us doubt our role. They made us believe we are not necessary. In that doubt, we often stop occupying the place that belongs to us.
We try to give them the best in material things. But they need us.
Because time is life. And we dedicate time to what we value.
Perhaps today it is not just about asking what is happening to teenagers.
Perhaps the question is different: How much real presence are we giving them?
** This column arises from the incident in San Cristóbal, where a teenager attacked classmates at a school. Official investigations pointed to his link with virtual communities that promote extreme violence. Official statements: https://www.argentina.gob.ar/noticias
About the Author
Yanina Cossime is a wife, mother, Specialist in Family Guidance, professor, and socio-community worker. She holds diplomas in Violence Prevention and Treatment, Sexual Education, and Early Childhood. She is currently pursuing a Master's degree in Intervention in Vulnerable Populations. Author of the book Bullying: Understanding, Preventing, and Restoring. She is the founder of Padres de Pie and a columnist for various media outlets.